feeling like Rojak

mixed feelings right now..urrgh i hate this part

feeling Happy :)

ok this is my big brother Kent..this was when i was 6,he was 10. NOW he's grown to be much more handsome and has only one chin. But hey..chubby was cute..still is. Anyway he's back from college and yeah i admit..can't believe i'm saying this though..i'm actually happy he's back. CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS EITHER....i regret saying all those mean stuff bout my brother when we were younger..and like yeah i know that when he comes back..there are times..lots of times actually where our family would start like arguing and all..its complicated..and like yeah ok i'm prepared for that and i'd usually hate it when he's back but now it's like it's different..i guess i miss my big brother. heh..didn't think i'd be saying that either..especially not when i was 10 and wishing everyday he would be shipped to college faster. I think cuz we've grown up and become more matured in a sense where we know we're all we've got and friends,boyfriends,girlfriends,husbands,wives will never have that same bond we have. like..besides my dad..he's the only dude i've known the longest so that makes it special i guess. SERIOUSLY...no idea i would be saying this. lol. And like now i look forward to seeing my brother..which is..yeah i would say a good thing. 

p/s how adorable were we when we had babyfat ^^

feeling worried =/

so many things running through my mind right now. drama audition results..mid terms..college..fitness....

uhm ok i'm not so hooked on the drama results..maybe not yet..since i'm at home..im pretty sure i'd be a total psychopath in school. 

MID TERMS...my gosh..everytime when exams come up my mind immediately goes to college and scholarships..i hate how 'chiong hei' i can be sometimes..urghh...ok i think i'm just making up excuses..i really need to get my game face back on again and actually follow a time table. i sound like such a dork -.-

 fitness..ok...i want to like eat cheesecakes..oreos...nachos and all that non veggie stuff and actually not gain weight (: please tell me that's not impossible. i so don't have time to exercise like how i use to anymore..UBER DISLIKE. i wanna sweat again...need to get back my stamina before starting parkour..or else i'd just be digging my own grave. I can't die this young..i have yet to make use of my ovaries  i have so much more ahead of me! 

feeling like ROJAK.